On personal pronouns.

The Star is supposed to find pronouns confusing. Someone who is ’she’ in one situation, can suddenly start being ‘you’ or ‘I’, ‘we’, ‘they’ or possibly even ‘he’ in another. “But my name is ‘you’,” the Star is assumed to be thinking. “What’s going on?”
So you have spent the last seventeen months sounding as though you are commentating someone [...]

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On another notable first.

Total time elapsed before the Star attempted to eat the crayons? Five minutes. It was just after breakfast though.

Guess which bit I did and which bit the Star did.

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On swinging both ways.

‘Bilinguals,’ says a book you have out of the library on the subject*, ‘are like hurdlers.’
This is not reassuring.
Partly, of course, because as the mother of a proto-teenage boy you are ever alert to potentially dangerous situations and the first thing that comes to mind is not ‘Oh, good god, how will we afford the [...]

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On slightly discomforting the classics (but everyone hugged at the end).

There you were in the library when the Star was a bit younger listening fondly to another Mum reading her son one of the books.
… and then Little Red Riding Hood said ‘What big eyes you have, Grandma!’
‘All the better to see you with,’ Wolf replied. 
‘What big teeth you have, Grandma!’ said Little Red Riding [...]

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On watching your language.

The Star likes music, especially when people are singing.
Unfortunately, you suffer from a complete disinterest in the lyrics of songs.
So although you’d like to entertain the Star by warbling along with the radio, you have been forced to find a station which has more of an emphasis on instrumentals than on words. Classic rock stations [...]

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On Archimedes’ heir.

The Star is now satisfied that gravity is.
It only took ten months of exhaustive field testing.
He is still slightly suspicious and will occasionally release something, watch it closely as it falls to the ground and glare at it to make sure it doesn’t get up again.
But basically, he’s down with the invisible sucking force.
Now he [...]

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Happy First Birthday, The Star!

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On being unutterably chuffed to absolute bits.

So there you are this morning spooning a breakfast of special, homemade muesli into the Star and listening to the radio.
The Chris Moyles show on Radio One.
Well, you refuse to listen to Radio Two, despite the fact that the actually play music you like. Music which you were a teenager with. Music that was too hip [...]

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On Baby Bliss.

The other particularly helpful baby book Best Friend gave you was supposed to be an antidote to Gina Ford’s regimentation being the key to happiness. Harvey “I’m a doctor donchaknow” Karp’s Baby Bliss.

Unlike Ms Ford’s stick to the schedule first and think later approach, Dr Karp has a Theory about the first three months of [...]

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On Eminem.

 
When you crawl through the door,
It is clear to Mummy,
You’re the one she adores,
The one she wants to see.
(Rock) Star, Mummy really loves you.
(Rock) Star, Papa loves you too.
We’re the ones who made you.

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