On overachieving.

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On Jeckyll and Hyde.

So Oh Waily did this personality profile thingy over at Humanmetrics, I had a go and here’s what came out.

Pretty spot on there about the obsessive need for control, I reckon.
Five year plans are also my thing. I’m a bit ahead on the latest one.
And everyone should gasp in awe at the military precision with which I [...]

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On sticky backed plastic.

So it turns out that what made the Star laugh yesterday was Sellotape.
Your menfolk were innocently wrapping a birthday present for your Mother, and had just ripped their first bit of Sellotape when the Star burst into loud laughter which, apparently, went on and on.
Slightly stunned, they waited until he stopped and tried the Sellotape again.
The [...]

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On guerilla war.

Apparently your husband and your brother got the Star laughing today.
While you were out at work.
They won’t tell you how they did it.
And the trainees didn’t give you any flowers, even though it was the last day of the course.
It must be a Thursday.

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On щи.

Today you spent fifteen whole minutes letting the Star push the door shut and then grasp the door handle to pull it open again.
Now there’s a game that doesn’t seem to get old.
Neither does Babushka playing with the light switch for his enjoyment. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. [...]

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On Christmas Puddings.

Today you assembled two Christmas puddings and then tended them while they boiled for six hours.
This actually feels like an achievement when it is combined with a day’s worth of baby wrangling.

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On more tales from the Baby Clinic.

This baby is wheeled in to the Baby Clinic and every woman in there heaves a small sigh of gratified motherhood pangs.
Because it’s dressed in a knitted grey body suit with white pom poms on the toes.
White pom poms! How utterly darling!
Particularly when the baby uses them to drag its little feet up towards its mouth.
You are [...]

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On Duct Tape.

Funniest. Photo. Ever.
[Removed due to the disturbing number of people who type 'duct tape babies' into their search engine]

It’s amazing what you find while looking for pictures of slings.

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On baby sling etiquette.

These days you get a lot of people smiling at your chest.
Which is unusual.
Of course (of course) they are actually responding to the Star, who is being carried around in state in the sling, with his little legs dangling, his little arms waving*, his little mouth sucking the front of the carrier** when his little face is [...]

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On public embarrassment.

While you were trotting through the supermarket, shaking a big box of tissues vigorously and chanting ‘Yellowyellowyellowyellowyellow’ in a carrying voice, you had a premonition that one day you will be doing something like this and will suddenly realise that this time you do not have the Star strapped to your chest.

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